Sex Appeal: What If Owning Your Truth Is the Real Turn-On? | Emily Paulsen & Lauren White
Most of what we’ve been taught about sex appeal isn’t actually about us.
It’s about being seen in a certain light. Being desirable on someone else’s terms. Being admired without being too loud, too clear, too much.
But the kind of sex appeal that changes your life isn’t about how you’re perceived—it’s about how deeply you’re connected to yourself.
This week on Curious Life of a Childfree Woman, I talked with business sexologist Lauren White about a version of magnetism that doesn’t come from being polished or approved—it comes from alignment. It comes from honesty. It comes from being willing to say, “This is who I am, and I’m not shrinking to make it easier for you.”
And that willingness? That clarity?
It’s what actually pulls the right things toward you.
What Real Magnetism Looks Like
We don’t talk enough about the fact that many women feel disconnected even when they’re successful. That you can check every box, meet every deadline, support every friend—and still feel like something essential is missing.
That gap often comes from living in fragments. Being one version of yourself at work, another with your family, another in private. It’s quiet, it’s exhausting, and for a lot of us, it’s habitual.
Lauren and I talked about what it means to stop performing and start integrating. To stop defaulting to what’s expected and start leading with what actually feels alive.
It’s not always comfortable. In fact, part of the process is letting go of being universally liked. Learning to stand in your truth, even when it repels people. Especially when it repels people. Because the only way to be magnetic is to be clear. And clarity requires boundaries, not blandness.
Why Turn-On Is the Filter
When Lauren talks about turn-on, she’s not just talking about sex. She’s talking about energy. About the feeling of being fully present, awake, and aligned with what you’re doing, who you’re with, how you’re living.
Most of us don’t even ask ourselves if we feel that way—because we’re used to functioning without it.
But what if you made turn-on your filter? What if you stopped asking, “Will this be good for me?” or “What will people think?” and started asking, “Does this light me up?”
It’s not a reckless approach—it’s a radically honest one. And it changes how you choose work, relationships, routines, clients, conversations, everything.
When you stop chasing what looks right and start choosing what feels right, things shift fast. People fall away. Energy returns. The gap between who you are and how you show up gets smaller. And life starts to feel like yours again.
Curious About Sex Appeal and Self-Trust?
Here’s where to start—small but meaningful shifts you can make this week:
Notice where you're saying yes out of habit instead of desire.
Practice naming your preferences—even in low-stakes situations. Start telling the truth on purpose.
Pick one area of your life where you’ve been muted. Ask what it would look like to stop being beige there.
Say something that’s true for you, even if it makes someone else uncomfortable. Let it land.
Replace “Is this productive?” with “Does this energize me?”
Let’s Stay Curious Together
This episode isn’t just about sex appeal—it’s about living in a way that feels honest, embodied, and completely your own. And how power doesn’t always come from being louder or bolder, but from being deeply aligned with what’s true for you.
If you’re in a season of reevaluating, reclaiming, or simply craving more aliveness, this conversation will meet you there. Join me on Instagram at @curiouslifeofachildfreewoman for more reflections and stories about what it really means to live turned on, clear, and unapologetically whole.
