Heritage & Legacy: What Are We Really Passing On? | Emily Paulsen & Laura Sura
Most of us grow up thinking heritage is something fixed—something we either have or don’t. It’s family trees, genetic traits, old recipes, heirlooms. But what if heritage could be chosen? What if it was less about where you came from and more about what you claim?
Recently, on Curious Life of a Childfree Woman, I spoke with Laura Sura of Heritage Within about how we can reclaim and redefine heritage in ways that feel more honest, more spacious, and more aligned with who we are now. As an adoptee, Laura brings a perspective that challenges the assumption that biology equals belonging. And as someone deeply committed to living with intention, she’s helping others think differently about what they want to carry forward—and what they’re finally ready to set down.
Redefining Heritage in Real Time
For many of us, especially those of us who are childfree or disconnected from traditional family structures, the idea of heritage can feel distant—or even irrelevant. But what Laura reminded me is that heritage isn’t just about where you came from. It’s also about what you stand for.
She talked about raising a son who doesn’t have access to his biological history, and how painful it was to watch a school project—one that assumed everyone could trace a family tree—completely leave him out. That moment crystallized something for her: Heritage isn’t neutral. It can be alienating. But it can also be reimagined.
The truth is, many of us are walking around with inherited stories that don’t fit. Expectations we didn’t choose. Traditions that don’t reflect who we’ve become. And while we may not be able to go back and change where we started, we can absolutely decide what comes with us.
What You Pass On Might Not Look Like What You Were Given
Legacy is often treated like a future-facing concept. But as this conversation unfolded, what struck me most was how rooted it is in the present. How we greet someone. How we hold space. How we embody what matters to us.
You don’t need a will or a biological heir to shape a legacy. And you don’t need a family crest to define your heritage. What you need is presence. Intention. The willingness to say, This is mine now. This is what I choose to honor.
For those of us living lives outside of traditional models—whether by choice, by circumstance, or somewhere in between—this episode is a reminder that we’re allowed to name our own meaning. And that doing so is its own kind of inheritance.
Curious About Heritage & Legacy In Your Life?
Here are a few ways to reflect on the conversation and apply it to your life:
Name one tradition or story you were given that no longer fits, and consider what you’d like to replace it with.
Think about the people in your life who feel like chosen family or chosen ancestors. What qualities do they carry that you want to embody?
Ask yourself what kind of energy people feel when they’re around you. That’s part of your legacy already in motion.
Write down the values, phrases, or ways of being you hope someone might remember you by, whether or not you ever meet them.
Explore how presence and energy can become a form of legacy.
Let’s Stay Curious Together
For many of us, heritage isn’t just about where we come from—and legacy isn’t just about what we leave behind. Both are shaped by how we live, what we value, and the stories we choose to continue.
Laura’s work reminded me that even if our paths look different, the meaning we make from them still matters.
I’d love to know: How are you thinking about heritage and legacy in your own life? Are they rooted in your past—or something you’re still defining?
Come join the conversation over on Instagram at @curiouslifeofachildfreewoman.
