Childfree Femininity: What If Fulfillment Comes From Energetic Alignment Over Energetic Output? | Emily Paulsen & Dr. Sophia Trevenna

Dr. Sophia Trevenna spent the first part of her career building manufacturing plants and pushing through panic attacks. She was a mechanical engineer working for one of the biggest tech companies in the world, watching quality numbers and trying to change systems that wouldn't budge. The breaking point came in her late twenties, lying in bed asking the universe for help.

The next day, signs started showing up. Three different people mentioned the same thing. She followed them. A new path opened. That was over twenty years ago. Now, she's practiced intuition for more than 50,000 hours, coaches executives around the world, and helps clients triple their revenue while working less. When we met at a business event in September, I was immediately drawn to her energy. There was something about the way she moved through the room that made me pay attention.

Where Structure Meets Emergence

Sophia talked about feminine and masculine principles in business the way a physicist talks about polarity. Everything that exists has two sides in a dance together. The masculine is form, structure, planning, measurability. The feminine is flow, process, emergence, intuition. We've built entire industries around one side of that equation while squeezing out the other.

She described how her company operates. Monday meetings to frame questions and set direction using logic and strategy. Then nothing scheduled until Thursday, leaving space for the week to unfold. Dreams, conversations, synchronicities, all of it gets treated as information. Thursday, they reconvene and turn what emerged into a plan. The rhythm holds both.

I kept thinking about how much time I spend trying to figure everything out in advance. How often I sit at my desk determined not to get up until something is solved, convinced that pushing through is the only way forward. Sophia's approach offered something different. What if the answer is already forming, and the work is making space for it to arrive?

She told a story about needing $50,000 to invest in her programs and website. She said it out loud on her podcast with her business partner. The next day, a client asked what it would cost to work with her for a year. She'd never offered that container before. She put together a proposal, and the first deposit was $58,000. Less than 24 hours after naming what she needed.

I'm not suggesting we all manifest money by saying it out loud. I'm sitting with the question of what becomes available when we stop forcing outcomes and start working with what shows up.

Clearing What Isn't Yours

One of the things Sophia said that stayed with me: we absorb other people's thoughts and energy, and we think they're ours. A teammate's jealousy becomes your self-doubt. Someone else's opinion about your visibility becomes your reason to pull back. You don't realize you're carrying thoughts that never belonged to you.

She practiced clearing her energy every single day for five years. Now, when a thought shows up that doesn't sound like her, she notices immediately. She clears it. It's gone. She gave an example: sitting there thinking maybe she shouldn't publish her fifth book, who needs a fifth book. Then catching herself. That's not what she thinks. She clears the energy. Suddenly, she's back to knowing the book matters.

I tried this after our conversation. A wave of doubt came through while I was working on something I felt genuinely excited about. I paused and asked if that voice was actually mine. It wasn't. The feeling shifted almost instantly. I don't know if I'll practice this for five years the way Sophia did, but I'm paying more attention to which thoughts feel true and which ones feel borrowed.

Motherhood Beyond Biology

Toward the end of our conversation, Sophia talked about being childfree. She spent most of her life with a deep sense of being a mother. Everyone who meets her feels it. She mothers her students, her clients, her work, her books. For years, she tried to find a partner who wanted to create a family the way she envisioned it. No one showed up for that. In her mid-forties, during a cacao ceremony, she finally let herself know the truth. She never actually wanted children.

The relief that followed changed everything. All the energy she'd been putting toward trying to force a reality that wasn't hers came back to her. She's been what she called "blissed out" ever since. The mothering energy is still there. It just expresses differently.

I keep returning to that. How the identity and the biology don't need to match. How we can embody roles in ways we weren't taught to expect. How fulfillment can look nothing like the version we thought we were supposed to want and still feel entirely true.

Curious About Intuition?

Sophia described intuition as something you build through daily practice, the same way you'd build muscle mass. If you want to bring intuitive knowing into your work and life, you need rituals that open you up to it. Here are a few places to begin:

Clear your energy each day. Say out loud: "I release all the energy that is not my soul, and I reclaim all the energy that is my soul." Notice how your body feels before and after.

Work with the field. When you need an answer, frame the question clearly, then let it go. Pay attention to what shows up over the next few days through conversations, signs, dreams, or sudden knowing.

Set intentions before sleep. Sophia says something like this every night: "I wake up tomorrow with my thoughts, emotions, and actions aligned with my divine truth and highest potential."

Notice what emerges between structure. Plan what needs planning, then leave space in your week for flow. See what arrives when you're not filling every hour.

Trust synchronicities. If the same thing comes up multiple times in a short window, treat it as information. Nature speaks through patterns.

Intuition isn't mystical when you practice it this way. It becomes another tool for clarity, efficiency, and alignment.

Let’s Stay Curious Together

What stayed with me after talking with Sophia was how tangible she made the invisible. She talks about signs and energy and manifestation with the precision of someone who's tested it thousands of times. She's brought scientific rigor to something most of us dismiss as woo. And the results speak for themselves.

I'm still learning what it means to make space for emergence in my own days. To notice when I'm forcing versus allowing. To ask which thoughts are actually mine. To trust that the next step will show up when I'm ready to see it.

You can listen to Episode 57 of Curious Life of a Childfree Woman wherever you get your podcasts, and find more reflections on Instagram @curiouslifeofachildfreewoman.

Let's stay curious together.