Party Planning: How do we become the host with the most on top of a slammed schedule? | Emily Paulsen & Virginia Frischkorn
Virginia Frischkorn has spent over 15 years producing events for some of the world's biggest brands. She's crafted experiences worth hundreds of millions of dollars. She knows how to create moments that people remember. And still, twenty minutes before every party she hosts, she wonders if anyone will actually show up.
As the founder of Party Trick, a platform built to make hosting accessible and stress-free, Virginia understands both the mechanics of great gatherings and the emotional barriers that keep people from creating them. When we talked, she was direct about something most hosts don't admit: the fear of rejection never fully goes away. You just learn to move forward anyway.
Before launching Party Trick, Virginia surveyed thousands of people and asked why they don't host. The three most common answers were: I don't have time, I don't want to clean up, and it costs too much money. She believes almost all of these objections can be overcome. The real barrier is often something else entirely. We've convinced ourselves that if it's not Pinterest perfect or Instagram worthy, it's not worth doing at all.
Overcoming the Objections That Keep Us Isolated
Virginia's approach to the most common hosting barriers is practical. The time concern usually assumes hosting requires elaborate preparation when it can be as simple as ordering pizza with intention or hosting a movie night. The cleanup worry imagines a level of mess that doesn't have to exist. The expense barrier often doesn't hold up when you look at how much we already spend going out to restaurants or ordering takeout.
What makes Party Trick effective is that it eliminates decision fatigue. When you're planning a dinner party, you're making over 200 decisions. That number alone explains why hosting feels overwhelming. Virginia built workflows and curated guides that cut those decisions by 40 to 80 percent. Themes help by creating a framework that makes choices easier and faster. Intentionality helps by clarifying why you're gathering people in the first place.
She also talked about simple strategies that shift the experience for both host and guests. Invite a few people to arrive early so the first real guest walks into a space that already has energy. Set aside one or two easy tasks so guests can help when they inevitably ask what they can do. Light candles, pour water into glasses, open a bottle of wine. People want to be included. Giving them small ways to contribute helps them relax.
Communication before the event matters too. Virginia learned from producing luxury destination events that four touchpoints before an event guarantees better attendance and reduces anxiety. For home gatherings, this might look like sending the invitation, following up a few days before with details about what to expect, and being clear about dress code or what to bring. Even confident guests appreciate direction. Knowing whether it's a casual Monday spaghetti night or something more dressed up eliminates the text thread where everyone asks what they should wear.
Starting With Intention Instead of Aesthetics
One of the shifts Virginia emphasized was thinking about the guest experience instead of obsessing over how things look. Before planning the menu or choosing decor, ask: why am I bringing people together? What do I want them to feel?
That question changes everything. If the purpose is celebration, the gathering takes one shape. If it's introducing people who don't know each other, it needs activities or conversation prompts that foster connection. If it's simply because you miss your friends and want to see them, that's enough.
Virginia also suggested thinking about who knows who on the guest list. If you're bringing together people from different circles of your life, be intentional about how you curate that mix. Make sure no one person knows everyone except you. Let people know in advance that it's a mishmash of your worlds so they don't walk in expecting a cohesive group. That small piece of communication alleviates anxiety before anyone arrives.
Themes serve a similar purpose. They provide structure without requiring perfection. A farm-to-table dinner, a bouquet bar, an oyster shucking party, a vision boarding night. The theme doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive. It just creates a framework that makes decisions easier. You don't have to think about whether every choice aligns with some abstract vision. You just ask: does this fit the theme?
Virginia also pushed back on the idea that hosting requires buying new things. Most of us have more at home than we realize. Themes can be created through music, food style, and what you ask guests to wear. Candles are one of the easiest ways to elevate a space without spending much. You can even ask everyone to bring their own place setting, which creates a mix-and-match vibe that feels intentional rather than chaotic.
The Legacy That Lives in Moments
Toward the end of our conversation, Virginia told me about her father. He was an incredible host who made every guest feel seen and valued, whether it was a black tie event or jeans and a barbecue. When Virginia was producing ultra-luxury events for major brands, he questioned whether she was creating anything meaningful. She was putting on million-dollar experiences, but were they actually impacting people?
Then COVID happened. Virginia watched her father host small gatherings with friends at their farms and homes. Those moments inspired Party Trick. She launched the beta, and he passed away the next day.
She had two young kids, was recently divorced, and was running four businesses. Losing her father forced her and her siblings to ask: what is life actually about? They sold or shut down their businesses. They stepped back to examine what mattered.
The answer was clear. At the end, people don't remember bank accounts or material success. They remember if they were loved, if they had community, if their life felt rewarding. The moments we share with others are what fill our lives with meaning.
That's why Virginia kept Party Trick going while shutting down everything else. She wanted everyone to have a little bit of her dad. She wanted people to feel confident enough to open their doors and create the experiences that actually matter. Party Trick's consumer version will always be free because hosting shouldn't be a luxury. Gathering is a fundamental human need.
Curious About Hosting?
Virginia shared practical ways to make hosting feel more accessible and intentional. Here are a few places to begin:
Start with why. Before planning logistics, ask yourself why you're bringing people together. What do you want people to feel? That clarity shapes every other decision.
Choose a theme to eliminate decisions. Whether it's a color, a type of food, or an activity, themes cut down the overwhelming number of choices you have to make.
Communicate clearly with guests. Let them know what to expect, what to wear, what to bring. Even confident people appreciate direction.
Think about the guest experience. Will people know each other? If not, how can you foster connection? Can you give them small tasks to help them feel included?
Invite a few people early. The first guest to arrive shouldn't walk into an empty room. Having even two or three people there already creates energy.
Use what you have. You don't need to buy new plates or decorations. Candles, music, and thoughtful food go further than expensive setups.
Let go of perfection. The nights people remember most aren't the ones with flawless aesthetics. They're the ones where connection happened.
Let’s Stay Curious Together
What stayed with me after talking with Virginia was the reminder that the fear of rejection is universal. It doesn't matter how experienced you are. Opening your door and hoping people will walk through it requires vulnerability. The difference between people who host regularly and people who don't is simply that some have learned to do it anyway.
Hosting doesn't require perfection. It requires presence, intention, and the willingness to believe that the moments we share with others are what actually matter.
You can listen to Episode 58 of Curious Life of a Childfree Woman wherever you get your podcasts, and find more reflections on Instagram @curiouslifeofachildfreewoman.
Let's stay curious together.
