Reflection: What Have We Learned From a Year of Childfree Curiosity? | Emily Paulsen

We're standing at the starting line of a completely new year, and I thought it would be honest to share what it's been like to host a childfree podcast for the first year.

When you start something new, you go in with expectations. You have a plan, a strategy, a goal. Everything else about how it actually feels and how it really turns out are unknowns you can't know until you take action. This podcast is just like that. Fortunately, it has exceeded my expectations in honestly every way. But it has also raised a lot of questions for me.

In a world overstuffed with content and digital noise, I only want to create something if I believe the world genuinely needs it. This podcast isn't designed to be a memoir. It's meant to be an engaging resource that solves a problem or fulfills a need that exists in the real human marketplace

The Problem I Thought I Was Solving

I've been a huge podcast consumer for years. I would listen to different shows on different topics I wanted to learn about. Keto because a friend was trying it. News events. Hobbies. Home renovations. The topics were really varied.

But no matter the show or the host or the topic, parenting somehow came into the conversation all too frequently.

It's not that it's bad or even always annoying. It just felt like every time I would hear something about parenting or dealing with kids, it felt a little less relatable to me, a little less relevant to my life. I certainly didn't tune in to hear about parenting. I tuned in to hear about that thing, that topic. So it almost took me out of the experience.

I felt like maybe other childfree people feel the same way. I could start a podcast where we explore really interesting topics and be curious about what's happening in the world, but parenting doesn't come into the conversation. We could take it one step further and explore those topics from a childfree perspective.

Sometimes that distinction matters more than others. If we're talking about menopause and hormone health, the childfree perspective is tangible because there are real differences. But even for topics like finances or personal style or home decorating, there's a subtle distinction in how we approach those things as childfree people versus how parents probably do.

What People Thought I Was Creating

The problem I didn't expect was that people assumed this is a show where I just interview different childfree women and we all tell why we're childfree and whether it's fun or hard and the emotions of living a childfree life.

There is nothing wrong with that format. I know it exists elsewhere, and I'm really glad it does. There's a time and place where you want to hear from others who've made all kinds of decisions. Sharing in those experiences is beautiful.

But it doesn't feel interesting to me to have a show week after week where we're strictly defining our stories around being childfree. To me, childfree is one layer of my identity. Of our identity. And it's just one layer. There are many that are part of each of us. Professional. Personality. Passions. The way we approach relationships. There's so much to us.

And when we zoom out, there's so much to the world. So much to learn about and discover and try. I didn't want to limit the types of conversations or the types of people who come on the show to just telling childfree stories.

The Sweet Spot Is Harder to Define Than Expected

This is the stuff I circle around. Are we going to keep doing the same thing? Do I go to childfree guests exclusively? I don't know. What do you think?

Turns out it's more confusing than you might think to have this distinction where we're holding space for the childfree perspective, we're not talking about parenting, but we're also not talking exclusively about being childfree. That middle ground is where I've tried to exist for the first year.

I'm really happy with the conversations we've had. I'm so grateful for the guests who said yes. When you have something brand new and you pitch it to somebody, those people who say yes don't have a lot to go on. They're trusting that this is worth their time. So I'm forever grateful.

But when I look to the future, I still feel a little unsure about how to refine the concept from here.

The Questions I Keep Circling

I've been feeling the pull that every single guest should be childfree. We've had many childfree guests in the first year, but not everybody has been. The reason is if I lead with the topic, I want the best possible person on that topic.

We did an episode on metabolism with Jillian, who happens to be a mom. We did an episode on beauty with Nicole Pearl, who also happens to be a mom. But they're at the top of their field. If I want us to learn from the best of the best, and the best is a parent, do I not invite them? Do I exclude them simply because they have kids? Or should I try to find someone else who is also an expert but also happens to be childfree?

Why I'm Being This Honest

I feel weird admitting that I still have question marks on exactly how to refine the show further. It seems wrong, like I'm giving up my power. But I'm also a little sick of the polished professionalism we all feel forced to show up with all of the time.

I'm never going to be a person who shows up with no makeup or records from bed. I can't go there. I need to be some level of put together to put something out on the internet. But I don't want to be prescribed, and I don't want this to feel like a business interaction.

I want us to feel like friends. That's what I really want from this. I want more childfree connection and more cool women friends. I want to meet interesting people doing interesting things. That's the guests, but that's also all of you.

If you were my best friend here drinking champagne with me for a sleepover, I wouldn't be giving you a formal presentation. I would be telling you straight up why I love it, and I would be asking you: what do you think about this next evolution of the show?

I Want Your Input

Let me know all your thoughts and feelings through a review, a DM, an email, the website. I read every single one, and they mean the world to me. That is the sign that I'm not just talking into a void, that there's someone on the other side.

I really want to know what you have lacked or craved in the podcast space or just as a childfree person existing in the world. My goal is to accomplish something with this show that fulfills that need and helps every woman understand herself a little bit better so she can choose the life path that's right for her.

Thank you for listening in year one. I would love to have you as a listener in year two. Big and exciting things are coming. You may have already heard about our first in-person event happening in February in Chicago. It's all in an effort to deepen our connections and craft something as a community that feels incredibly special.

You can listen to Episode 60 of Curious Life of a Childfree Woman wherever you get your podcasts, and find more reflections on Instagram @curiouslifeofachildfreewoman.

Let's stay curious together.