Loneliness: How Do We Create Connection in a Disconnected World? | Emily Paulsen & Dr. Jody Carrington
We live in a world where it feels like everyone is only a click away. Yet despite the constant notifications, online groups, and digital “friends,” loneliness has become one of the defining issues of our time. In this week’s episode of Curious Life of a Childfree Woman, I spoke with Dr. Jody Carrington, psychologist, bestselling author, and host of the UnLonely Podcast. Jody has spent decades helping people understand why we feel so disconnected and how to find our way back to one another.
What I took away from our conversation is that loneliness isn’t the same as being alone. You can feel lonely in a marriage, a family, or even in a crowded room. Loneliness shows up when we lose the sense of authentic interaction, the eye contact, presence, and rituals that regulate our nervous systems and remind us we belong. Jody calls this the “discipline of reconnection.” It’s not about dramatic change. It’s about intentional practices like leaving your phone in the car at dinner, charging it outside your bedroom at night, or simply waving to your neighbor. These small acts create space for connection to return.
When the Village Disappears
Jody also reminded me that we were never meant to do life alone. Communities, friendships, and chosen families have always been the scaffolding for human survival and joy. But modern life has given us countless “exit ramps” from one another, delivery instead of shared meals, texts instead of in-person conversations, endless digital scrolling instead of stillness. The cost isn’t only emotional; it’s physiological. Our nervous systems thrive on regulation from others. Without it, we lose access to clarity, creativity, and joy. Rebuilding our sense of community, whatever form it takes, may be the most radical and restorative work we can do right now.
Why Boredom Matters
Another theme that resonated deeply was the idea of stillness. In a culture where we fill every pause with scrolling, we’ve almost forgotten how to be quiet with ourselves. Jody pointed out that boredom used to be the space where big questions surfaced, what am I here for, what do I want, what matters most? Without those pauses, we risk trading clarity for distraction. Since this conversation, I’ve been noticing how quickly I reach for my phone in line at the grocery store or when I’m sitting alone at a restaurant. Practicing stillness, even for a few minutes, feels like reclaiming the ability to notice what’s actually around me, and who’s actually around me.
Curious About Reconnection? Start Here.
If this episode stirred something in you, here are a few ways to begin practicing reconnection this week:
Put your phone in another room while you sleep: and notice how it changes your rest.
Build a rhythm: choose one small ritual you can return to weekly, whether it’s a dinner with friends, a walk without headphones, or a call to someone you love.
Practice presence: the next time you’re tempted to scroll, make eye contact with someone nearby instead.
Try stillness: set a timer for 30 seconds, close your eyes, and do nothing. Let your body catch up to the moment.
Reach out: send a short message, write a note, or wave at someone in your neighborhood. Small gestures count.
Let’s Stay Curious Together
This episode reminded me that loneliness isn’t a personal failing, it’s a collective challenge, and we each have a role in repairing it. Connection is both our wiring and our responsibility. Whether through stillness, community, or simple daily rituals, we can choose to reconnect with ourselves and with each other.
You can listen to the full episode of Curious Life of a Childfree Woman wherever you get your podcasts.
I’d love to hear from you: what’s one small practice that helps you feel more connected in your daily life?
Share with me on Instagram @curiouslifeofachildfreewoman. Let’s stay curious together.
