Comedy & Choice: What If Ambivalence About Kids Doesn't Mean You're Broken? | Emily Paulsen & Natasha Vaynblat
What if years of uncertainty about having kids doesn't mean something is wrong with you? What if it just means you're actually thinking about it?
Natasha Vaynblat, comedian and creator of the live show Childless Freak, spent years in ambivalence before embracing her childfree choice. I sat down with her to talk about comedy, honesty, and what it's like to put unconventional choices out in public.
The Wake-Up Call at 35
At 35, everyone told Natasha to freeze her eggs. Give yourself more runway. Keep your options open.
She was surprised at how much she didn't want to. Even the barrier to entry, the hormones, the appointments, she immediately did not want to add any of it to her to-do list.
That's when the real question emerged: if you're not even willing to do this, why do you assume parenthood is still a priority for you?
Education and Representation
Natasha realized she had a huge hole in her understanding. She grew up in the suburbs where every adult was a parent. She and her husband both operated under the assumption there was not an alternative.
So she read every book on maternal ambivalence. She talked to people living childfree. She listened to podcasts. She educated herself on what a happy, healthy life outside the traditional framework actually looks like.
In media, childfree women are crazy cat ladies or wild partiers. Where are the well-adjusted, normal women living this path? Representation matters, and we have so little of it.
Why Comedy Works for Complicated Decisions
When Natasha processes anything, she does it through writing. She's naturally a comedic writer. So jokes about being childfree started emerging from her journal entries.
The more the set grew, the more she realized she could focus specifically on this question. It became therapeutic. A way to celebrate the choice while giving space to the idea that it's not an easy choice for everybody to make.
The show isn't jokes about how people are dumb for having kids. It's not about being a wild partier. That's why it's called Childless Freak. She was worried that choosing this life would make her, and make others see her as, a freak of nature.
Comedy creates space for nuance. For the middle ground. For saying: I really was unsure, and this is for people who find it hard to make this decision.
What Changes After the Decision
Now that Natasha and her husband are no longer considering kids, they asked themselves: how do we make sure our life is still rich and social and full of our found family?
They started hosting dinner parties constantly. Their apartment became a place of culture and gathering for their friends.
That wouldn't have happened as intentionally without making the decision. Choosing a path means you close doors on some things and open others. The things you're rewarded with feel richer because you made an intentional choice.
The Maturity Question
Natasha worried that if she didn't become a parent, she wouldn't reach a certain level of maturity. Now she realizes that making a proactive choice about your life creates maturity.
Making this decision requires self-awareness. It requires standing up to questions from siblings, best friends, family members. It requires sustaining that decision when you cross age milestones or someone important to you disagrees.
That's growth. That's development.
Curious About Navigating Ambivalence?
Natasha shared insights on processing complicated decisions and embracing unconventional choices. Here are a few places to begin:
Recognize that ambivalence doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It means you're thoughtfully considering both options.
Seek out examples of happy, well-adjusted childfree women. Read books, listen to podcasts, talk to people living this path.
Understand that making a proactive choice requires self-awareness and creates maturity through the work of sustaining that decision.
Embrace that you don't get to have it all. Choosing a path means the things you're rewarded with feel richer.
Use creative expression, humor, or art to process complicated decisions. Comedy can create space for nuance.
Host dinner parties. Build your found family. Create culture and gathering in your space.
Don't get stuck in the thing you didn't get. Go two feet in to the thing you can get.
Let's Stay Curious Together
What stayed with me after talking with Natasha was the reminder that representation changes everything. When we only see extreme versions of childfree women in media, we can't imagine ourselves living that path.
Ambivalence isn't a character flaw. It's evidence that you're taking the decision seriously. The fact that Natasha spent years educating herself, reading, listening, and thinking doesn't mean she was indecisive. It means she was thoughtful.
And on the other side of that thoughtfulness is clarity. Not just about the choice itself, but about how to build a life that feels intentional, rich, and full of meaning.
You can listen to Episode 64 of Curious Life of a Childfree Woman wherever you get your podcasts, and find more reflections on Instagram @curiouslifeofachildfreewoman.
Let's stay curious together.
