Friendship: What Gets in the Way, and How Do We Make It Last? | Emily Paulsen & Nina Badzin
It’s been one full year since Curious Life of a Childfree Woman began, and I’ve spent that time in deep conversation with artists, psychologists, entrepreneurs, researchers, athletes, writers, and thinkers, people who are asking big questions about how we live, how we grow, and how we define fulfillment for ourselves. Somewhere along the way, I also realized how few conversations we have about the relationships that hold all of that together.
Friendship isn’t always framed as a pillar of personal growth or identity. It doesn’t come with vows or family titles or clear rituals. But it does shape us. It stretches us. And when it changes, it can leave us disoriented in ways we don’t always know how to name. So for this milestone episode, it felt right to explore the one relationship we often take for granted, even as we build our lives around it.
I invited Nina Badzin to join me because she’s been exploring the nuances of adult friendship for over a decade. Through her writing, podcast, and newsletter Dear Nina, she brings a steady, grounded presence to topics that don’t always feel easy to untangle: mismatched expectations, silence after conflict, changing rhythms, unmet needs, and the invisible work of staying close.
Where Assumptions Start to Unravel
One of the moments that stayed with me in our conversation was when Nina talked about how often we expect friends to show love or interest the same way we do. Respond as quickly. Reach out just as often. Prioritize the same moments. I started to think about how much energy we spend comparing our effort to someone else’s and how quietly that can turn into resentment or self-doubt.
It made me reflect on the places where I’ve over-measured, where I’ve read too far into a late reply or a canceled plan. And it also made me more attentive to the friendships that function differently. The ones that unfold slowly. The ones that are built on long walks and sparse texts. The ones that feel quiet but deeply anchored.
Nina reminded me how much possibility opens when we stop expecting sameness and start noticing presence in its many forms.
Letting the Format Change
Friendships, like everything else, live in motion. Life seasons shift. Needs evolve. The way we connect changes shape. I’ve had to learn that proximity matters, yes, but so does creativity. A walk with a stroller. A phone call during errands. A text that says “thinking of you” with no expectation attached. These things aren’t less than. They’re part of what makes friendship possible over time.
During our conversation, we also talked about the difference between letting something fade and choosing to soften it. Not every friendship has to be all-consuming or high-maintenance to be meaningful. Some belong in a slower orbit. Some remain close, even when they’re rarely in the calendar. Making space for that variety feels like its own kind of emotional maturity, one I’m still practicing.
And somewhere in the middle of it all is that quiet question: what helps us stay close when everything else is shifting?
Curious About Friendship in Real Life? Start Here.
If this episode stirred something for you, here are a few invitations to keep reflecting:
Pay attention to patterns, not perfection. Who shows up consistently, in the way they can?
Release the scoreboard. Connection rarely thrives under constant comparison.
Say the thing. Unspoken needs don’t usually disappear, they tend to grow heavy.
Make it easier to be together. Suggest something simple. Share the planning.
Don’t wait for the perfect moment to reach out. Start with one true sentence.
Let’s Stay Curious Together
Marking this one-year milestone with a conversation about friendship felt fitting. This show has become its own kind of relationship, a place where nuance lives, where stories unfold, and where learning happens in real time. I’m so grateful you’re here, and I’d love to hear how this episode landed with you.
You can listen to Episode 53 of Curious Life of a Childfree Woman wherever you get your podcasts, and join the conversation on Instagram @curiouslifeofachildfreewoman.
Let’s stay curious together.
