Autonomy: How Do We Know If We’re Living the Right Life? | Emily Paulsen
Most of us were raised to believe there’s a “right” way to live, check all the boxes, follow the timeline, make the choices that look good on paper. The perfect job. The perfect partner. The perfect life. But what if perfection isn’t the point? What if the pressure to get it all “right” is what’s actually keeping us from feeling free?
In this week’s episode of Curious Life of a Childfree Woman, I recorded a solo conversation to answer some of the questions I hear most often about this show, and to share the bigger vision behind it. Because while the word childfree is in the title, this podcast isn’t just about not having kids. It’s about autonomy. It’s about curiosity. And it’s about creating a life that feels like yours, without apology.
The Myth of the Wrong Life
There’s a line from the show Station Eleven that’s been stuck in my head: “I don’t want to live the wrong life and die.” It sounds dramatic, but if we’re honest, most of us know exactly what that fear feels like. We worry about making the wrong decision, taking the wrong job, choosing the wrong partner. And that worry can keep us frozen in place, endlessly analyzing instead of living.
Here’s the truth: there is no “right” path. There is only the path you choose, and the willingness to shape it into something that feels good as you go. That realization changes everything. Because the goal isn’t certainty, it’s alignment. It’s building a life that reflects your values, your priorities, your definition of fulfillment, not someone else’s script.
Why Representation Still Matters
The podcast was born from a personal frustration: every conversation about life planning, wellness, or even creativity seemed to include a parenting lens. And for those of us who’ve chosen not to have kids, it often feels like we’re left to translate advice that doesn’t apply to us, or worse, to feel like something’s missing.
Representation matters because it makes room for possibility. It says, “Your life is valid. Your choices are normal.” That’s why this space exists, not to convince anyone to be childfree, but to normalize a perspective that deserves equal visibility. Because when more stories get told, more of us get to feel at home in our own lives.
Living Curiously, Not Cautiously
Curiosity is what keeps us from living on autopilot. It’s what helps us stay open instead of rigid, expansive instead of boxed in. And that’s really the heart of this podcast: asking better questions, having richer conversations, and learning from voices that make us think differently. Whether it’s health, money, relationships, or meaning, every topic we cover is through that lens of curiosity.
Curious About Creating a Life That Feels Like Yours? Start Here.
Try one or two of these small shifts this week:
Pause before saying “yes.” Ask: Does this choice feel like mine, or does it feel like an expectation?
Make a list of what energizes you and what drains you. See where your time actually goes, and where you want it to go.
Question the word should. Every time it pops up, replace it with want and notice what changes.
Seek out representation that reflects your values, podcasts, books, communities. When you see your life modeled, it reinforces that you’re not alone.
Name one rule you’ve inherited about what life is “supposed” to look like, and imagine what happens if you break it.
Let’s Stay Curious Together
This isn’t about perfection. It’s about possibility. About building a life that feels like your own, and trusting that’s enough.
You can listen to the full episode on Curious Life of a Childfree Woman wherever you get your podcasts. And if this sparked something for you, I’d love to hear it.
Come join me on Instagram @curiouslifeofachildfreewoman and tell me: what does autonomy look like for you?
